I've been in the throes of wedding season. I thought this year I
wouldn't go to as many as I did last year (around 15), but it's not
even halfway through August and I've been to… seven, so it looks like
I'll be making the target while trying not to.
Now, this is what happens every time I leave the house right now.
Someone I know well (or, in several cases, someone I don't know well
or even know their names) will grab me and drag me to a wedding. In
one case, a few nights ago, I kept politely declining, walking towards
my house and away from the throng of people going to three different
weddings and the fifth time I said no to someone, I realized it'd be
easier to go for awhile than to keep trying to go home.
When I say "go to a wedding," it never means the full 3-4 days, but at
least one event one day for an hour or four or five. The first two,
that I went to at the end of last month, I was dragged to by
neighbors. The first one, happened on a quite annoying day. There were
10 weddings going on at the time, and all ten brides dressed up in the
typical "abroq" outfit: a white kaftan with colored wraps, a white
painted face with saffron painted on in a design and rhinestones glued
on the brides' cheeks, bright lipstick, khol eyeliner, hennaed hands,
and the abroq: a head dress including a shiny red patterned scarf, a
silver chain with charms dangling from it, a green or red bundle of
yarn tied together at intervals with metal sequins sewn where the
bundles are gathered, and the equivalent of Christmas tree tinsel of
varying colors. The abroq is handmade and there is a small cylindrical
cushion sitting horizontally under the top layer.
I set off at about 6 to see the procession of brides, but a neighbor
said it wouldn't happen for about two hours. I went home and set off
at 7:30, but when I got there, it ends up I missed the whole thing,
but as I set off to go home, the neighbor found me and took me to her
friend's wedding.
This night was the first night she spent in his house (and everything
you would think that entails, though my particular tribe does not
require the dance around a white sheet with a bloodspot, lhamdullah),
so I didn't see the bride or the groom. Instead, a neighbor I have
talked to a few times took me in and sat me down. I explained to a few
people who are Ait lkharij in France who I was, danced for a few
minutes with literally every single eye on me (the joys of being a
foreigner), ate dinner, and sat with three groups of people, each of
which I had a friend in. All in all it was fun and I was invited to
the rest of the festivities for the next few days but didn't go.
That weekend, one of my friends had a little get together dinner,
which was, as always, a great time.
The second wedding I've been to this season happened on the day where
the bride wears the abroq, and her aheyduss dance includes a large
pole with palm fronds and, in her case, an Amazigh "Z" symbol in
Christmas tree tinsel.
Another neighbor encouraged me to go to the house which I call the
"Castle on the Hill"- one of 7 large two story cement houses in my
immediate neighborhood that is empty 11 months out of the year but is
full of people in August: an immigrant family's summer house. This
house is huge and I've always been curious.
It was a fairly relaxed wedding, and some girls (aged 14-24) called me
over and we talked and giggled through the tea, basta (vanilla wafer
cookies), peanuts, couscous, meat tagine with olives, and fruit. I met
some girls who study in my friend's site: Tamazitinu doesn't have a
middle school or high school, so the girls board during the year,
coming home only for l'Eid and the summer. A few even knew passable
English. There was also a girl who "lives" in the castle on the hill:
she was 24 years old, Moroccan but born in France, summering in
Tamazitinu her whole life.
The third wedding was a random lunch I was dragged to; I still don't
know who the bride even was, but I literally couldn't refuse, and was
embarrassed as I had my bike and camel pack (water holding) backpack
and was sweaty and gross in non-wedding clothes.
The fourth was exciting but long: I didn't stay for all the
festivities even, but I went with some friends and stayed from about
10 at night until 3:30 am. There was aheyduss, talking to family
members from France, the bride changed clothes three times (all more
"modern" than the Abroq: a white Kaftan with a plastic silver crown, a
red jabador (two piece outfit) with a red scarf in her hair, which was
let down and free for this night, and a white wedding dress while the
groom wore a black tuxedo), and finally, right before we left, the
bride and groom fed each other milk, dates, and exchanged rings. They
were sitting on two layers of ponjs, with the traditional yellow
hand-decorated with metal sequins backdrop, something in Arabic
spelled out on it in Christmas tree tinsel, random Christmas lights
and light ropes in the background, and a large blinking starburst of
lights. There was also a fake aquarium that lit up with pictures of
fish swimming inside.
The next wedding was just an aheyduss dance: typical, and I didn't
stay for dinner.
The last two were tonight: one was what I think is the most "western"
family in town: they have a flatscreen television and spotlights with
black leather couches in the living room and three showers, including
one with a huge, oversized bathtub. The bride was from a place called
Kelaa M'Gouna, and she brought her own aheyduss dancers; 7 women and 7
men that dressed in their tradition and circled around each other,
singing and almost running in star formations, lines, circles, and
arcs. It was exciting to see a different tradition, and it feels like
half of the town came out to watch.
I had planned on staying for dinner, but a friend who is at her
engagement step had her ceremony. I didn't make it even to dinner: I
left at 11:30 and it hadn't started. I was just exhausted. I was
excited to be taken under the wing of one of her friends though. I
wish I could be here for her actual wedding; the family is black and
they have different wedding traditions, including something that I
don't quite understand that involves putting a bowl on the bride's
head. I was one of maybe five white people there, and it was strange
how nobody mentioned that the other wedding had hundreds of people
there and this one had maybe sixty. There is blatant racism in my
community, so every opportunity to show people that I am friends with
women of all ages and all races makes me happy.
Other than weddings, I spent most of last Thursday at my nearest
volunteer friend's site and am going back tomorrow to help her with a
project. We heard an aheyduss outside her house, but then heard other
music that sounded more sub-Saharan African.
We went outside to look, and it was a group of men and boys from
Erfoud, wearing all white with red accent and red knitted or crochet
caps with cowry shells on them. The men's origins were sub-Saharan,
and they used a different sort of large drum with two drumsticks: one
crooked and one straight, as well as sets of cymbals that were barbell
shaped. They were traveling around and performing for money. I really
enjoyed their music, as did a man across the street from her who was
more into it, dancing and clapping and smiling more than I've ever
seen anyone get into the music here.
My little girls who come over, especially the core 4 or 5 of them,
have been coming over a lot recently. Their new favorite thing to do
is to shower at my house. I don't mind; it's kind of fun combing their
hair afterwards, and they told me they like to do it at my house
because at their houses, they only shower once a week whereas they'd
shower every day at my house if they could. As long as it doesn't fill
my septic pit, I'm fine with it.
